How to Put on Your Sock: The Overlooked Foundation of Leadership

How to Put on Your Sock: The Overlooked Foundation of Leadership

by | Dec 26, 2024 | Innovation, Inspiration, Practice Leadership, Team Development

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.

You can sign up here.

Title: How to Put on Your Sock: The Overlooked Foundation of Leadership

This morning, I experienced a surprising moment of clarity while performing the most mundane act: putting on my sock. For a moment, I paused, smoothing it carefully, ensuring no wrinkles, and I found myself thinking of John Wooden, the legendary basketball coach who taught his players to start their season not with a basketball but with their socks.

The act felt oddly profound. A wrinkle in a sock, Wooden warned, could lead to a blister, and a blister could derail an entire game—or a season. That small gesture of care was not trivial; it was foundational. It was about preventing problems before they started. In that pause, I realized how often, as visionary leaders, we miss the metaphorical “sock” in our lives, distracted by the allure of the big picture.

The Big Picture vs. the Wrinkle in the Sock

Leaders like you—brilliant, driven, and ambitious—are adept at crafting visions, solving large-scale problems, and navigating complex landscapes. You thrive in the arena of challenge and growth. But even the most skilled leader can stumble when the fundamentals are neglected.

These seemingly minor oversights—relationships left unattended, a lack of self-care, or failing to express gratitude—are the wrinkles in the sock. They seem insignificant until they begin to chafe, blisters forming in the fabric of your relationships, teams, and even your sense of self.

And here’s the truth: Significance—that deep sense of meaning and impact you’re seeking—doesn’t emerge from grand gestures alone. It is born in the consistent attention to what grounds you.

 

Why the Sock Matters

Wooden’s lesson on socks wasn’t about micromanaging—it was about mindfulness. Small actions compound over time, and the details you attend to or ignore will inevitably shape your path. The foundation of a life of Significance begins here.

When you focus on the fundamentals:

  • Trust is Earned in the Details:
     A thank-you note to your colleague or a quiet moment of genuine connection with a loved one signals that you’re present and invested. Trust is built in these seemingly trivial acts.

     

  • Momentum Begins with the Basics:
     When the fundamentals are strong, you move with clarity. The absence of small friction points—wrinkles—creates a smoother path to innovation and growth.

     

  • Impact Ripples Outward:
     Intentional care doesn’t just stay in one place. It flows into your work, your relationships, and your capacity to lead. This ripple effect is what amplifies your legacy of Significance.

     

How to Smooth the Wrinkles

So, how do you “put on your sock” in leadership and life? How do you ensure the small things don’t undermine the great things you’re working to achieve?

  • Start Small, Start Strong:
     Begin your day, meeting, or conversation with intent. A five-minute pause to ask, “What does this moment need from me?” can set the tone for everything that follows.

     

  • Audit Your Foundations:
     Identify where you’ve let the basics slip. Have you been skipping meals, postponing connection, or running on autopilot? Smooth those wrinkles.

     

  • Make Care a Ritual:
     Build habits that anchor your days. Whether it’s journaling, sending a weekly gratitude message to your team, or carving out moments of quiet, these small actions add up.

     

  • Lead Yourself First:
     Leadership begins with self-leadership. When you care for your own well-being, you’re more equipped to show up for others with clarity and compassion.

     

The Gift of Small Things

Putting on a sock is more than just a metaphor—it’s a call to action. It’s an invitation to pause, recalibrate, and tend to the fundamentals of your life and leadership. The big visions, the mountains you’re scaling, and the battles you’re fighting are all supported by the simple things.

If you’re seeking Significance, remember this: It starts not in the extraordinary but in the ordinary. It’s the trust earned in the small moments, the momentum built on strong foundations, and the impact amplified by consistent care.

So, I ask you: What’s your sock? What foundational practice or relationship have you overlooked in your pursuit of greatness? Take a moment today to smooth out the wrinkles. Your future self—and your team, your family, and your mission—will thank you.

This is how you lead with purpose. This is how you build a life of Significance: one wrinkle smoothed, one sock at a time.

This is the work I do in my high-proximity coaching and thought partnership agreements inside The Life of Significance container—helping visionary leaders like you shore up your foundations, realign with your purpose, and eliminate the friction that holds you back. Together, we’ll ensure your leadership is rooted in clarity, strength, and intentional action.

Let’s have a conversation. Reach out today, and let’s smooth the wrinkles in your path to make 2025 your most significant year yet.

Click here to schedule a conversation with me.

Jen Karofsky | Thought Partner & Coach for Visionary Leaders & Significance Seekers

 Jen Karofsky collaborates with leaders who are ready to disrupt the status quo and craft a life of legacy, deep connection, and purposeful impact. Through intentional coaching and bold thought partnership, Jen Karofsky helps you align your work, your values, and your vision to create transformational change in your world.

Join The Significance Project to redefine success and step into your power.

Join

The Significance Project

My monthly(ish) newsletter for the tools, tips and provocations you need to live your life of significance.

More on the BLG:

When the Metrics Don’t Fit

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This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.Why ambitious visionary leaders need a different kind of measurement at this stage of growth.There’s a rhythm many...

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The Collaboration

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This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.When Success and Significance build something real—together. Part 5: There comes a point in a high-achieving life...

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Feeling the Wobble: Rising Strong in a Shifting World

Feeling the Wobble: Rising Strong in a Shifting World

by | Dec 17, 2024 | Identity Shifts, Innovation, Inspiration, Practice Leadership, Uncategorized

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.

You can sign up here.

Title Banner - The Significance Dilemma

There’s a wobble in the air—a persistent, disorienting undercurrent of instability that none of us can escape. Whether it’s the weight of global crises, collective trauma, or the unrelenting pace of modern life, we are all feeling it.

This wobble is not just “out there.” It’s in our bodies, our relationships, and our work. It’s in the frayed edges of conversations, the silent tension in crowded spaces, and the way we react more than we respond. Even if we try to ignore it, the instability touches every part of our lives. And hiding from it is not an option. To retreat into denial would be catastrophic—not only for ourselves and our loved ones but also for the profound work we’re here to do.

Because if you’re feeling this wobble, it’s likely that you are someone who seeks Significance—to lead a life that matters, that aligns with your values, and that bends the moral arc of the universe toward good.

The Wobble Within: My Personal Story

The other day, I found myself deeply immersed in my own inner work, feeling vulnerable and exposed—a touch of instability coursing through me. I had made an agreement with myself to explore this terrain, as I often do when I sense the need for a deeper excavation of my heart and soul. But this time, the journey feels different.

I’ve invited a new guide to walk alongside me, someone with a fresh lens and tools I hadn’t used before. Together, we’re approaching my inner world through a systems perspective, and I feel the wobble.

Here’s the thing: I chose it.
 I knew this instability was coming. In fact, I was wobbling even before this expedition began—I just didn’t have the words for it yet. It was a silent kind of suffering, and it was wearing me down.

We all do this dance. Every single client I’m working with right now is asking the same questions:

  • Is this it?
  • I’ve lost myself. How do I find my way back?
  • What do I do now?
  • Who the fuck am I?

These aren’t just questions of identity or direction; they’re questions of Significance. They come from the deep, human desire to live a life of purpose and impact—to move beyond success into meaning.

The Call to Rise

This is why we must rise now. For the sake of our hearts and souls, for the people we love, and for the work we’re here to do, we must shore up our foundations and go beyond what we’ve ever done before.

The wobble is the call to action. It is not asking us to retreat but to step into radical self-responsibility and self-leadership. This is the heart of living a significant life.

We must:

  • Learn to ground ourselves when the world feels unsteady.
  • Train our nervous systems to move out of fight, flight, or freeze and into calm, sacred frequencies of love, exploration, creativity, innovation, and clear action.
  • Practice the daily discipline of returning to center when we’re pulled off course.

This is not a time for shortcuts or surface-level fixes. The depth of our personal work will determine how steady we can stand in an unsteady world. And that steadiness will allow us to create the kind of impact we long for—a lasting legacy of significance.

From Reactivity to Resilience

As I continue this leg of my journey, I’m reminded that the wobble isn’t something to fear—it’s something to honor. It is the space where transformation begins.

The same is true for you. Every wobble, every moment of rawness, is an invitation to build something stronger within yourself. To find a foundation that isn’t dependent on the world around you staying stable, because it won’t.

This is what it means to move from reactivity to resilience. And resilience isn’t just about surviving—it’s about thriving. It’s about leading a life of significance, where your inner strength fuels your outer impact.

Ask yourself:

  • How can I show up more rooted, more present?
  • What practices will help me move from reactivity and dysregulation to resourcefulness?
  • How can I create a life that feels steady, aligned, and meaningful, even when the world doesn’t?

Answering the Call

This is a time of profound challenge, but also profound opportunity. The wobble is asking us to step up in ways we never have before—to meet the instability with clarity, care, and courage.

By doing your inner work, by rising to the call of radical self-responsibility, you not only transform yourself but also become a beacon of stability for others. For your children. For your colleagues. For your communities. For our world.

And this is the true essence of significance: living a life that not only fulfills you but also leaves a mark on the world.

This is the time, my loves. The time to rise, to go deeper, to build stronger foundations than we’ve ever known. The world may feel wobbly, but we don’t have to. Let’s do this work—together.

 

Let’s Steady the Wobble—Together

If you’re feeling the wobble and know it’s time to rise into a life of true significance, let’s have a conversation. This is the work I do in my high-touch private coaching—guiding visionaries, leaders, and changemakers to ground themselves, build resilience, and lead from a place of clarity and strength.

If you’re ready to meet this moment with courage and create a life that feels aligned, steady, and impactful, let’s explore what that could look like for you.

Click here to schedule a conversation with me.

Your next step begins now.

Jen Karofsky | Thought Partner & Coach for Visionary Leaders & Significance Seekers

 Jen Karofsky collaborates with leaders who are ready to disrupt the status quo and craft a life of legacy, deep connection, and purposeful impact. Through intentional coaching and bold thought partnership, Jen Karofsky helps you align your work, your values, and your vision to create transformational change in your world.

Join The Significance Project to redefine success and step into your power.

Join

The Significance Project

My monthly(ish) newsletter for the tools, tips and provocations you need to live your life of significance.

More on the BLG:

When the Metrics Don’t Fit

by |

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.Why ambitious visionary leaders need a different kind of measurement at this stage of growth.There’s a rhythm many...

read more

The Collaboration

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This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.When Success and Significance build something real—together. Part 5: There comes a point in a high-achieving life...

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We’re doing gratitude all wrong and it’s keeping us stuck.

We’re doing gratitude all wrong and it’s keeping us stuck.

by | Nov 26, 2024 | Identity Shifts, Innovation, Inspiration, Practice Leadership

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.

You can sign up here.

Title Banner - The Significance Dilemma

 “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.”

 John F. Kennedy

Maybe I missed the lesson on gratitude—or maybe there wasn’t one. Growing up, there was always a rule: gather, be grateful, and then return to the same patterns as before. No deeper reflection. No hard conversations. No real change. Just an annual ritual of thanks followed by inertia.

Perhaps that’s where it loses me. 

As someone who has spent years observing how people make sense of the world, I’ve noticed a recurring theme: gratitude often feels hollow. It’s not that people aren’t grateful—it’s that the practice is disconnected from anything substantive.

We sit around the table saying, “I’m grateful for my family,” while avoiding the fractures in those relationships.
We declare, “I’m grateful for my health,” yet neglect the habits that sustain it.
We claim gratitude for our work but turn a blind eye to inefficiencies, toxic dynamics, or systemic challenges that hold us back from its fullest potential.

This kind of gratitude feels performative—a glossy surface over truths we’re unwilling to face.

And maybe that’s why this time of year feels so unnerving to me. 

I don’t lack gratitude; I reject what I call “fluffy gratitude.” I love the very definition of gratitude: “a strong appreciation for. I am deeply grateful for the air I breathe, the mind I’ve been given, and the perspectives I can see. 

And, for me, gratitude isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s tied to effort, to the sweat and intention of building a life I am proud of. A life that feels good and does good. It’s a gratitude grounded in substance and significance – or what I call “significant gratitude” – and significant gratitude is the exact opposite of the fluffy gratitude that keeps us stuck in an unsatisfactory status quo instead of reaching for all that’s possible.

Significant gratitude—the kind that leads to growth, connection, and impact—isn’t a seasonal ritual; it’s a daily practice of acknowledgment and action. 

It’s not enough to say, “I’m grateful for my health.” Significant gratitude asks: What are you doing to take care of all of you? 

It’s not enough to say, “I’m grateful for my family.” Significant gratitude asks: How are you showing up for them, especially when it’s hard? 

It’s not enough to say, “I’m grateful for my work.” Significant gratitude asks: Are you willing to address the challenges that hold your work back?

The relationships I have with my family and friends didn’t just happen. I sought the gaps, created the spaces, and brought in the experts to have the big, sometimes raw conversations. I invested in making repairs and new agreements a priority.

The work I do wasn’t handed to me. I trained like a warrior—always learning, practicing, and refining my craft.

The clarity I have about who I am and why I’m here wasn’t luck. It came from stripping away outdated beliefs, confronting self-sabotage, and refusing to settle for a life that felt flat and uninspired.

For me, gratitude isn’t a list of blessings that fell into my lap. It’s a recognition of what I’ve built and what I continue to fight for. 

So when I look around the table, I don’t just feel grateful for my family or my work—I feel grateful for the choices I’ve made to cultivate a life of significance.

This is the missing piece. Gratitude isn’t about gathering once a year to say “thank you” and then returning to old habits. It’s about aligning your actions with what truly matters, every day.

Yes, I am profoundly grateful—but not just for what I have. I’m grateful for the person I’ve become. This is gratitude worth practicing. Gratitude that feels real, earned, and significant.

Final note – This is the work I do with my ambitious, big-thinking, deep-feeling clients. Through high-proximity 1:1 coaching and thought partnership, I help them stop feeling discontent despite their extraordinary success and disconnected from the people who matter most. Together, we design lives that feel unburdened, joyful, and purposeful—lives of significance.

 

This reflection comes from The Significance Project. If it resonates, you can receive essays like this straight to your inbox by subscribing here.

Jen Karofsky | Thought Partner & Coach for Visionary Leaders & Significance Seekers

 Jen Karofsky collaborates with leaders who are ready to disrupt the status quo and craft a life of legacy, deep connection, and purposeful impact. Through intentional coaching and bold thought partnership, Jen Karofsky helps you align your work, your values, and your vision to create transformational change in your world.

Join The Significance Project to redefine success and step into your power.

Join

The Significance Project

My monthly(ish) newsletter for the tools, tips and provocations you need to live your life of significance.

More on the BLG:

When the Metrics Don’t Fit

by |

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.Why ambitious visionary leaders need a different kind of measurement at this stage of growth.There’s a rhythm many...

read more

The Collaboration

by | ,

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.When Success and Significance build something real—together. Part 5: There comes a point in a high-achieving life...

read more

For When you Feel Unfulfilled even Though You Seem to Be At The Peak of Success

For When you Feel Unfulfilled even Though You Seem to Be At The Peak of Success

by | Nov 14, 2024 | Identity Shifts, Innovation, Inspiration, Practice Leadership

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.

You can sign up here.

Title Banner - The Significance Dilemma

When Success Feels Hollow: A Common Challenge for Leaders

If you’re feeling bored, uninspired, or disconnected, you’re not alone. Despite their accomplishments, many high-level, highly knowledgeable leaders grapple with overwhelm, exhaustion, and an undercurrent of dissatisfaction – the very opposite of the life of significance they’re craving. If this is you, you might notice you’re avoiding new ideas, resisting collaboration, or feeling disconnected from the work and people that once sparked joy.

It’s going to sound paradoxical or maybe even counterintuitive, because everything in our culture of success trains us to reach for certainty so we can make smart and impactful decisions, but your certainty about what you know is actually the reason you’re not satisfied with anything right now.

Here’s what happens when you’re rock-solid certain about something (or, worse, when you’re certain about almost everything): you stop listening. You stop engaging. You stop taking in new information and you stop picking up the signals.

And without new information, epiphany, the thrill of learning, and just plain novelty, life gets very gray, very fast.

That’s why when my highly-accomplished leaders tell me they’re bored, restless and not feeling fulfilled in their lives, I know certainty is in the room.

The need for certainty can become a mental cage, one that limits engagement, kills collaboration, and squashes curiosity. When we’re locked in certainty, people around us may feel they can’t reach us or that we’re unreceptive (because we are!), which can ultimately lead to a breakdown in relationships—the one thing we truly desire to keep strong and fully feel our lives.

No connection, no spark. At work or at home.

Here are a few examples of how certainty might be showing up and holding you back:

The Leader Who Won’t Delegate

You’re overwhelmed with every detail, utterly certain about how it should be done and convinced that no one else can do it right. This mindset keeps you overworking (may as well do it yourself…); your team underperforming; and all you locked in a vicious spin cycle that prevents both your own and your team’s growth.

The Visionary Who Theoretically Values Collaboration but Avoids It Like the Plague

In your head, you’re dreaming of the dream team and the creative exhilaration that comes from collaborating with people at the top of their games. But in reality, you default to working solo so that you get to do everything your way (because again, you’re certain about how it needs to be done); don’t have to moderate your plans or process to accommodate anyone else’s perspective; and honestly, you need to feel like you’re the certain center of everything at work (feeling feeling sidelined or irrelevant is your personal kryptonite). As a result, you never get to that impactful place where everyone’s working in synergy and magic happens. Instead of experiencing the exhilaration of collaborative creation, you end up resenting everyone around you and fail to cultivate the empowered, collaborative team of your professional dreams.

The Partner Craving Connection but Stuck in Habit

You want to connect more deeply with loved ones, so you invite them to do things you’re certain will create that feeling…even if they would rather do anything but that activity. An example: you love hiking and feel deeply connected to nature, so you’re certain that if your partner went hiking with you, the two of you would have a transformative experience that would bring you closer together. You suggest it to them, but they hate hiking and resist, but you’re so certain it’s the thing that will make a difference in your relationship that you relentlessly persist. And now you’re in a fight and feeling further apart than ever. Your certainty is actually blocking the opportunities to connect and intimacy you crave.

Your  Indicator Light – How Certainty Feels

Lots of colds, maybe even a few injuries (how’s that knee doing?). A bit more bossy or a bit more distant with your team. A little shorter with your kids. Avoiding meetings. Taking way too many meetings. Taking offense. Ruminating when you should be sleeping. Putting your head down and just doing the job. Being so preoccupied with everything else that your job feels impossible or insignificant. Demanding the impossible from your spouse, right now.

When certainty takes over, it doesn’t just affect your actions; it seeps into your emotions, thoughts, body and behaviors. So when you’re seeing these patterns, they’re warning lights that you’re locked in certainty and locking yourself out of the personal and professional vibrancy you’re craving.

Curiosity-The Antidote to Certainty

To break free from certainty, you must cultivate the skill of curiosity—your willingness to see things differently, to embrace possibilities, and to listen to perspectives you might not expect. Curiosity invites you to step out of the confines of “knowing” and into the boundless world of “exploring.”

Leaning into curiosity requires that you learn how to pattern-interrupt, and this is where a bit of inspiration from Mr. Rogers can help.

The Mr. Rogers Exercise

If you remember Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, you’ll recall that Mr. Rogers would start each episode by coming into our homes, changing his shoes, and putting on his cardigan, signaling a shift from the everyday world to the Land of Make-Believe. Here, he’d interact with a world of curiosity, imagination, and possibility.

As a leader, you can create your own rituals to signal a similar shift, stepping out of certainty and into a mindset of openness and discovery:

  1. Change Your Environment: Whether it’s putting on a different sweater, going to a new space, or simply adjusting your workspace, choose a physical act that symbolizes stepping into a fresh mental space.
  2. Embrace the Land of Make-Believe: Imagine you’re entering a world where anything is possible. Visualize challenges as opportunities, and let go of the need to control the outcome. Ask yourself, What might be possible here if I approach it with curiosity?
  3. Invite Others Into This Space: Once you’re in this open mindset, reach out to someone who sees things differently. Start a conversation that’s focused on exploring new ideas, asking big questions, and creating fresh possibilities.
  4. Ask Questions and Co-Design: Having all the answers is the death of curiosity, so you have to be willing to not have all the answers, all the time, and that means asking questions. In our earlier example, you heard about the hiker who wants to connect with their partner, who wants NOT to hike but probably also wants to connect. If our hiker had voiced that desire and leaned into curiosity, they would have asked their partner how they could make more connection and intimacy happen, and they probably would have been snuggling on the sofa or drinking wine by the beach right now. When you ask questions, you start co-designed experiences and that is what lands you in the joy that makes life a delight.

Using these specific practices to lean into curiosity helps you escape the death-grip of certainty that dulls your life and makes you restless. Curiosity rather than certainty is what reawakens the innovative, collaborative spirit that fosters meaning, drives true impact, and fuels your life of significance.

Curious on diving deeper? Join The Significance Project!

Jen Karofsky | Thought Partner & Coach for Visionary Leaders & Significance Seekers

 Jen Karofsky collaborates with leaders who are ready to disrupt the status quo and craft a life of legacy, deep connection, and purposeful impact. Through intentional coaching and bold thought partnership, Jen Karofsky helps you align your work, your values, and your vision to create transformational change in your world.

Join The Significance Project to redefine success and step into your power.

Join

The Significance Project

My monthly(ish) newsletter for the tools, tips and provocations you need to live your life of significance.

More on the BLG:

When the Metrics Don’t Fit

by |

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.Why ambitious visionary leaders need a different kind of measurement at this stage of growth.There’s a rhythm many...

read more

The Collaboration

by | ,

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.When Success and Significance build something real—together. Part 5: There comes a point in a high-achieving life...

read more

Leadership with Substance: Why Being “Wishy-Washy” Won’t Work

Leadership with Substance: Why Being “Wishy-Washy” Won’t Work

by | Oct 16, 2024 | Innovation, Inspiration, Practice Leadership

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.

You can sign up here.

Title Banner - The Significance Dilemma

In today’s world, leadership of substance is more crucial than ever. But what we are seeing in businesses, universities, religious institutions, and government bodies is alarming: leadership that caves to the loudest voice rather than standing firm on a robust belief system. Leaders are bending to every gust of public opinion, and frankly, I’m thinking, What the f*ck are you doing?

The Risks and Rewards of Standing Firm

Too often, these leaders buckle under pressure from the noisiest group, making disastrous decisions that impact people’s lives in intimate ways. I see leaders walking back their choices, attempting to please both sides of an argument, thinking they can maintain power by keeping everyone happy. They chase after the status of leadership rather than living its substance. This is morally weak leadership. When you are obsessed with the position, but not the values that should anchor that role, your leadership becomes diluted, irrelevant.

There are leaders today who are not rooted in any meaningful belief system, which makes them dangerously susceptible to the whims of popularity. Wishy-washy leadership is dangerous—whether in the public eye, in your relationships, or in your business. It lacks conviction. We are witnessing this all around us, and it’s eroding not only our institutions but our trust in leadership itself. 

There is  a saying: “You can always tell a leader by the arrows in his back.” These arrows are the scars of standing firm in one’s beliefs, even when facing resistance. True leadership isn’t defined by popularity or approval—it’s marked by the willingness to face adversity, criticism, and even hostility in the pursuit of what’s right. Leaders who stand for something substantial inevitably become targets, but that’s exactly what distinguishes them from the rest.

Here’s the thing: When leaders focus solely on securing their position and maintaining their power, they are no longer impressive. Real leadership is about something deeper, something morally-founded. Something significant.

I’ve observed this deterioration for some time, and it fuels my dedication to the work I do. What drives me is the opportunity to collaborate with people who have a strong moral compass and a genuine desire to lead in a way that makes a meaningful impact—both personally and professionally. We need this kind of leadership now more than ever, not for recognition, but to create lasting, positive change in the world.

This is not a challenge for the faint of heart. And it isn’t just for those in formal leadership roles. This is a call to leaders who want to be a force for good and create significant, positive change in the world. The world doesn’t need more figureheads, more “leaders” obsessed with looking the part. The world needs principled individuals who desire to lead more than they desire the title.

Any leader learns along the way how to manage conflicting personalities and competing priorities. It’s part of the game. The trick is to make sure the game isn’t playing you. A diplomatic stance can be essential and it will serve you well; but only if it doesn’t take priority over your moral compass and is, in fact, guided by your moral stance. If you feel the burning inside you or a sense of dissatisfaction, or frustration because you’re not saying what needs to be said, it might be time to re-anchor into what matters to you and your vision. Stop biting your tongue and watering down your decisions. Choose to be a leader of substance, instead.

The Hero’s Journey: A Path of Moral Integrity

There’s a moment on the Hero’s Journey when the hero must make a choice—do they stay true to their calling, even if it means walking a lonely path, or do they let the glittering promises of success seduce them off-course? The dragons and villains in our world are pulling leaders off their moral foundation with the allure of status and recognition. When this happens, purpose grows distant. You no longer make the impact you were meant to make because you’ve traded your values for a seat at the table. You abandon yourself and your vision.

But here’s the truth: real significance in leadership isn’t about being liked or about checking boxes. It’s about conviction. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr wasn’t popular with most of America and even other church leaders in his time, but he was steadfast. He wasn’t wishy-washy. He wasn’t a people-pleaser. He stood firm, even when it was lonely, and that is why he was able to move mountains and create a legacy. 

Many leaders today confuse “aloneness” with loneliness. Standing firm in your beliefs might make you feel isolated, but that’s different from loneliness. It’s the solitude of significance, the place where only a few can stand because they have chosen the morally right, rather than the popular, path. I know it is risky to take a stance – Dr. King certainly paid the ultimate price for it – but most of us aren’t risking life and death when we take an unpopular but necessary stance. The stakes might be high, but they’re not that high (even when it feels like it.)

I’ve had to make hard choices myself, to disrupt relationships and my work in order to stay true to my moral foundation. I had to break the patterns that kept me playing small, because I realized I didn’t want to live in a beige, bland reality. Yes, it seemed easier to live that way, but, for me, it felt meaningless.

As Lin-Manuel Miranda sings in Hamilton: “If you stand for nothing, Burr, what will you fall for?” We have become a society of leaders who fall for everything because they stand for nothing. Leadership today feels like a popularity contest, with leaders more concerned about social media standings than moral standing. But true leadership requires the courage to follow your moral compass, to not be wooed by the fleeting temptations of status and recognition.

 

Finding the Courage to Lead with Integrity

To lead from a place of moral integrity is to know that you will never satisfy everyone. Real integrity is not about being the whole thing for everyone; it’s about being that sharp slice of truth that people can rely on. When you abandon yourself, your leadership is hollow, and when you get to the end of your life, it won’t feel the way you wanted it to.

We are in a time where leadership has become a popularity contest. It’s about shiny things and status and social media standings. But true leadership requires the courage to stand firm in your beliefs, to not be wooed away from your moral compass by the temptations of success.

You can’t stand for your work, your family, or your community if you don’t first stand for yourself. Leadership is about more than popularity—it’s about principles, moral courage, and a True North that guides every decision. Leadership of significance is bold, truthful, and colorful—it’s not watered down to suit everyone’s tastes.

So I’m asking you: Will you stand for your values? Or will you, like so many others, fall for the allure of fleeting success? Because if you don’t stand for something, the world will pull you off course, and in the end, you’ll have nothing of substance to offer.

The world is on fire right now, and it needs you—leaders with integrity, conviction, and a robust belief system. We don’t need more leaders seeking status. We need leaders of substance, leaders who will leave a legacy that actually matters.

“No leader escapes their career unscathed, or perpetually beloved.” But in the end, it’s the leaders with the arrows in their backs who are the ones remembered for making a true difference.

Will you be one of them?

 Reach out if you are ready to lead with substance.

Jen Karofsky | Thought Partner & Coach for Visionary Leaders & Significance Seekers

 Jen Karofsky collaborates with leaders who are ready to disrupt the status quo and craft a life of legacy, deep connection, and purposeful impact. Through intentional coaching and bold thought partnership, Jen Karofsky helps you align your work, your values, and your vision to create transformational change in your world.

Join The Significance Project to redefine success and step into your power.

Join

The Significance Project

My monthly(ish) newsletter for the tools, tips and provocations you need to live your life of significance.

More on the BLG:

When the Metrics Don’t Fit

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The Collaboration

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This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.When Success and Significance build something real—together. Part 5: There comes a point in a high-achieving life...

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The Brutal Truth About Success and Fulfillment

The Brutal Truth About Success and Fulfillment

by | Sep 19, 2024 | Innovation, Inspiration

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.

You can sign up here.

Title Banner - The Significance Dilemma

 Welcome to a profound exploration of success and fulfillment. In a world where achievement is often measured by material gains and social accolades, we are driven to climb higher, earn more, and seek external validation. Yet, this pursuit can lead us into a trap—a seductive illusion that promises significance but often leaves us feeling empty and unfulfilled.

 

The Brutal Truth About Success and Fulfillment

We’ve been fed a lie—a lie that tells us climbing higher, earning more, and achieving external recognition will lead to the impact and significance we’re craving, not to mention lasting fulfillment. It’s a seductive trap, but a trap nonetheless. Decades of research, including the Harvard Study of Adult Development, show that the things we’ve been taught to chase—money, status, and success—pale in comparison to what truly brings deep satisfaction (and happiness). 

So why do we keep letting the world convince us to play the small status quo game instead of doing what it takes to make a big impact and make our visions for our lives and our work real?

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not telling you to sell all your belongings and live off-grid in a yurt. I’m saying that the status quo version of success isn’t big enough for you. It’s not truly success; it’s the illusion of success. Getting off that hamster-wheel and into the game only you can play is how you create a far greater impact while also savouring your rich life. That’s the path to cultivating significance in every area of your life, from your work, to your impact, to your relationships, to the way you experience joy at home.

We hear it all the time—“money doesn’t buy happiness”—but where’s the guidance on what will create deep satisfaction?

Where are the strategies for building a life of high impact and high significance, one that doesn’t just sound good on paper but truly satisfies your soul?

Here’s the truth: Most of us have sacrificed moments of joy, connection, and meaning for achievements that we secretly knew wouldn’t fulfill us. How many times have you let significance slip through your fingers because you were too busy grinding for the next thing? Too busy proving to the world (and maybe yourself) that you’re successful?

Let’s Talk About Pleasure—Real Pleasure

Pleasure has been framed as indulgent, something we should save for “after the work is done.” But what if we’ve had it wrong all along? Pleasure isn’t a luxury—it’s essential. Savoring a meal, laughing with someone you love, feeling the sun on your skin—these aren’t distractions from your goals; they’re the foundation of a life well-lived. They’re also – and this is less well-known – a secret northstar for knowing your next brave move, professionally or personally, to make that big impact you’re envisioning. Joy and pleasure can also be an endlessly renewable source of fuel that propels you forward (they work way better to get you going than stress!). 

Those moments you brush aside because “there’s more work to do” or “it’s not productive enough”—those are the moments that contain information you need to plot your path forward to professional significance and make life rich (personal significance!). And I’m not talking about the fleeting dopamine hit from buying a new car or landing a promotion. I’m talking about the lasting texture, depth, and meaning that come from embracing life’s pleasures.

So Why Do We Keep Making Life So Damn Complicated?

With all the knowledge at our fingertips, why do we keep chasing what society tells us to? Why do we pursue more money, a higher status, and some arbitrary checklist of success when deep down, we know it won’t bring us what we’re truly seeking?

True success isn’t measured by how much you accumulate; it’s about how aligned your life feels with who you truly are. It’s about the impact you make. It’s about the visions you realize. It’s about the depth & intimacy of the relationships you grow. It’s about waking up every day feeling that your life is rich—not because of what’s in your bank account, but because of what’s in your heart.

So here’s the real question: Are you brave enough to cultivate true significance and genuine impact, rather than settling for the status-quo version of success? Are you willing to face judgment, to disrupt your own narrative, and to reclaim what makes you feel truly alive?

What About You?

As you move through this month, I invite you to ask yourself some uncomfortable questions. 

  • What pleasures are you sacrificing in the name of success? 
  • Does success really require less joy and meaning…or could more joy and meaning be fuel for the kind of significant success you’re envisioning?
  • Who or what have you sidelined in your pursuit of more? 
  • And most importantly, are you ready to disrupt the story you’ve been living and discover what will truly make ALL AREAS of your life significant?

This is your opportunity to stop chasing and start cultivating significance, joy, and meaning.

Ready to Step Into the Arena?

This is the work I do in my 1:1 high-proximity coaching where you’ll stop chasing the illusion of success and start creating true significance. These are also the lessons I share in my newsletter, The Significance Project. You can subscribe here or schedule your first call…

…so you can start your journey towards a life of profound impact, rich relationships and deep fulfillment. You know, significance.

Jen Karofsky | Thought Partner & Coach for Visionary Leaders & Significance Seekers

 Jen Karofsky collaborates with leaders who are ready to disrupt the status quo and craft a life of legacy, deep connection, and purposeful impact. Through intentional coaching and bold thought partnership, Jen Karofsky helps you align your work, your values, and your vision to create transformational change in your world.

Join The Significance Project to redefine success and step into your power.

Join

The Significance Project

My monthly(ish) newsletter for the tools, tips and provocations you need to live your life of significance.

More on the BLG:

When the Metrics Don’t Fit

by |

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.Why ambitious visionary leaders need a different kind of measurement at this stage of growth.There’s a rhythm many...

read more

The Collaboration

by | ,

This post is an excerpt from The Significance Project. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to be part of the community.. You can sign up here.When Success and Significance build something real—together. Part 5: There comes a point in a high-achieving life...

read more